Thanks for Letting Us Borrow Your Daughter

Once a week for 2 hours, Jeremy and I watch our friends' daughter who is almost 3 years old. We spend those 2 hours speaking to her in Spanish only, which, as you can imagine, leads to some pretty funny moments. So many of these moments have been building up in my heart that I had to share.

I'm not ready to have kids one bit (okay, maybe a bit, but only a little bit). I've been telling people that the idea of staying home all the time sounds great to me, but not so much the whole taking-care-of-another-human-thing. I'm watching every mother around me and making all kinds of mental notes but just not ready to take that plunge quite yet. Enter Luci Belle. Fun. Crazy. Loving. 2 hours a week of taking care of a child- it's just what I needed.

So maybe I'm just trying to convince myself that we don't want kids yet. This is plausible because when Luci Belle repeats "Espera Un Momento" after me, I melt almost every time. A lot of the times, she doesn't repeat or really respond, but then out of nowhere, she will rattle off a sentence, or respond to our babbling with 'Yes' or 'No' so confidently that we wonder if she's become fluent overnight. Es possible, no?

Since the sweet arrival of summer, we've spent most of our lessons down at the pool. Who wouldn't, right? Let me tell you something, you haven't lived until you've swam with a toddler. I mean, you would think we just arrived at the most beautiful ocean in the world by the smiles and giggles that come out just seeing the pool! It does a great thing for the soul in those moments- such a reminder to live with awe.

The best moment every week is when it's time to leave the pool. LB is always reluctant, but as soon as she gets out, she wants to be wrapped up in her towel and held. As soon as you get her wrapped up and into your arms, she rests her head on your shoulder. every time. It's seriously like clockwork. You know when you arrive at the pool with her, at the end of that adventure, you will get that precious moment (which lasts all the way up 3 flights of stairs, back to our apartment). Her face right then says "I am at peace. I am comfortable. I feel safe." And it helps me feel all those things too. It's times like these that I wonder how I've lived without kids for this long. And don't even get me started on what it's like to see her resting her head on Jeremy's shoulder. 

For now, we're grateful and content with these 2 hours a week. And definitely using this season to prepare, to watch people around us, to soak it in, to put our marriage first and learn how to relate to each other before we add a 3rd, 4th, 5th person to this equation. Perhaps I'm writing this because each week something inside of me grows stronger. I'm trying to process this feeling, this desire for motherhood. Each week I want a little more time.