Beginning to Dream

Dream: Outdoor Farm Table

I'm guessing you'd never describe me as a dreamer. I definitely wouldn't ever call myself that... I have always prided myself on being more "logical," "realistic," and "practical." I'm not even sure what prompted it, but lately I've been questioning that stance.

I read this book... Yeah, come to think of it, that's what started it all. In the book, he talks about naming his dreams. Some 10 years later, he found his extensive list and realized that every single one had come true. This caught my attention very quickly. Jeremy had just read a book called As a Man Thinketh  and it essentially said the same thing in different words. I realized that there was something very real and powerful about naming your dreams. Then I had a little freak-out moment for the fact that I couldn't ever remember calling anything a dream. Not wanting to be the weird person with no dreams or aspirations in life, I set out on a quest to name as many as I could.

Dream: Enjoying coffee in Europe

Praise the Lord for Pinterest. I know that people say, "stay away! it will suck you in!," but I am so thankful for it. It has helped me learn about so many topics and explore new things. Most recently, it has helped me name and visualize my dreams. Check out my beautiful dream board here.


I've begun to openly call things dreams. I used to say "man, I really want to go to Italy." Now I say "Going to Italy is one of my dreams!" I'm giving it so much more weight, and I'm thinking about how I'm going to get there.



Here's the greatest part of all of this. Not only am I thinking about a lot of things that I really want and are important to my heart, I'm more motivated for the little things in life. I'm exercising more, eating better, being more intentional with my time, and trying to find ways to fill my days with more things that I enjoy. I am convinced that by placing my sights on some big thing on the horizon, I have a greater tenacity in everyday life. I'll take it!


Here's some moments from my life lately that have been dream-like. Moments where I thought "I don't want to be anywhere else on earth."

Delicious Food with Friends Like Family

Unreal Food Creations at Jim's

So, call me a dreamer, I don't mind. I'll take it as a compliment now. Cheers to chasing dreams :-)

Yoga: Reasons for My Obsession

I recently started going to a small yoga studio down the street after the urging of my good friend, Liz. My husband and I have been going together in tandem with our new diet based on this book. I originally started doing this mainly as a weight loss deal since I can't manage to make myself get to the gym, but now I'm seriously addicted to yoga. See below for the why!

Time:
I don't have a life brimming with free time, and I'm sure you don't either. Each class is an hour, so by the time I get there, take the class, get home, it's less that an hour and 15 minutes. I can do that!

Beginner:
It's really good for me, and perhaps all of us, to be a beginner at something. Always learning, always being humbled, it's just a good state. Was I reluctant at first? OF COURSE. I hate not being the best at something or looking stupid (I really don't like the instructor saying instructions to the whole class that I know are just for me to adjust my pose... or maybe I have such a complex I assume it's all directed at me... that's probably it).

Small Studio:
Y'all already know how obsessed I am with my neighborhood... so of course, a neighborhood yoga studio fits perfectly in my life. I have already made several new friends, I don't feel judged there, and it's just small, sweet, comfortable. Usually the classes have about 10-15 people in them, so it's just nice and chill (except that one time we had 30+ people in that small room.. that wasn't very chill. If I had my phone then, I would have a funny picture to share now.)

Relax:
If I have a word for this year, which my skeptical self hasn't fully decided if I will or not, it would be relax. I can tend to take on a lot of stress, wind myself up, and never really relax. I think if I were able to regularly relax that so many other things in my life would fall into place, and ultimately, I would be a better person.

Ok, back to yoga, I have NEVER felt as relaxed as I do at the end of a class, especially the Yoga for Healing class. I think the closest I have ever gotten is when I've had a super relaxing bath, but we don't have a bathtub in our current apartment, so it has been awhile.

I am aware now of how wound up I was. How much stress I was holding onto. I'm feeling like I'm not too sure how I functioned without yoga, I guess I wasn't too nice of a person, not emitting much peace.  See here.

I tend to take it all in. all the details , and I stress until every one is completed (which life has taught me rarely happens). But when I'm in the yoga class, it's totally different. I forget about my phone, the emails, the tasks... I don't even think that someone might be trying to get a hold of me. Most often, I get out of yoga, and the world has gone on just fine without me for one hour. Nothing has come crashing down, and there's a lesson for me in that - that's probably for another blog post!

My reason for practicing:
Sometimes at the end of a class, the instructor asks us, during Shavasana, to think about our reason for practicing. My answer has changed for that question each time it has been asked. But the last time he asked, I just about lost it, tears welling up. I felt so vulnerable - as if I had let go of control. Then it clicked. That's why I kept coming back to yoga... because it helps me release and let go of all the cares. I practice so I can let go, and that's why it's changed my life.*




*P.S. every other part of my life is marked by my constant photos... I have none for this post and I feel a little insecure about it. But then I feel happy because I even forget to take photos before/during/after yoga because I'm so lost in it. Phew - feel better with this disclaimer! ;-)

New Christmas Traditions

I hope that everyone had a wonderful Christmas. Ours was so blessed. We decided this year to enjoy a nice dinner together and create that memory instead of buying each other more stuff (neither of us could remember what we got each other last year). You can bet we won't forget this night, though! Through the recommendation of a friend, we went to Lark on the Park, a nice restaurant nestled right next to Klyde Warren. We parked next to the symphony and enjoyed a short walk to the restaurant.

Usually when we go out to a nice place, we like to order stuff that we aren't likely to cook, or aren't very good at cooking. So we definitely started with clams as an appetizer (have you cooked clams lately....? me neither). They were delish.  That was an easy decision! The rest of the menu was a touch overwhelming... we had a hard time figuring out what most of the entrees were, but after asking the waitress and finding out that one of them was a cheesy pasta dish, Jeremy ordered that one. I went ahead and got a roast chicken dish that was the BEST I'VE EVER HAD! Seriously, I am still wondering how they got the chicken to taste so delicious (juicy, tender, crispy on the outside, flavorful)! And it came with stuffing and brussels sprouts, so I felt as if I were having Thanksgiving dinner :-) But of course, we ended the meal with a dessert parfait that had coffee ice cream and chocolate lady fingers in it (I'm pretty sure I took a picture of that...but then again, I may have been too busy eating!)

Feeling quite satisfied, we walked to the symphony for the second year in a row to enjoy the Christmas show. There's something about being full of a room of people at Christmastime and listening to music we've all heard a thousand times before. Nostalgia sets in. It's why I love the season so much - so many reasons to celebrate, so many parties. There were many moments that brought me to tears that night - if you haven't ever been, you must go next year. It will make your holidays bright! ;-)

P.S. how do they find those kids for the children's choir? because they're incredible.

This was just a snapshot of one night of a very busy holiday season for Jeremy and me. It was crammed packed with parties, family activities, meals, etc. Right about now, I'm beginning to feel my annual "Christmas Blues." I am, however, realizing that it isn't Christmas at all that I am really missing once it's over, but rather all the people I love that I get to see so much of during the season. Next Christmas, I would love to spend more time with all of those people and less time fighting crowds, buying presents, and getting mad at Amazon for not getting my gifts to me (should I be mad at UPS? I don't even know.)

Positively Positive

Okay, let's just start this off with the confession: I have a really hard time being positive, seeing the glass as half full, not complaining, etc.

I have to fight to view things in the right light. My default, go-to, response to life in-general and the things that come my way has always had this negative-bent. For years, I bolstered this attitude by arguing that I was simply being 'logical'. Not really sure why I came to this conclusion, but I knew it was right. 

Over the last two years, I've had the privilege of being surrounded by people who are the definition of positivity. I mean, it used to feel over-the-top to me. I would wonder how they could be so happy and always look on the bright side of things? I had pretty much decided that it was great for them, but I would always have this negative cloud looming over me. I kind of enjoyed the negative - there was something satisfying to me about always pointing out what's wrong or missing, made me feel more valuable, like I was this expert that could find the bad in everything (wow- what an awesome power to have, haha).

Over time, this perspective, this mindset, lost its luster. Sometimes you're totally content with your way of living until you find something better, then the old is totally unacceptable. For example, my favorite ice cream used to be Bluebell's Peppermint. It was only available during the holidays, you know, the pink one with the little mints sprinkled throughout. Yum. But then a month or so ago, I had Jeni's Backyard Mint. Never will I eat another. It's unreal the difference! 

Taken one morning from my apartment,
trying to stop and enjoy the little things

That's what started happening with my outlook on life! I began to reject the Bluebell for the Jeni's! It wasn't easy all the time, and my mind fought it so much (how weird it felt to me- what is this happy response that ignores all the bad things going on?!)

Then one day I woke up and it was all different. I found myself encouraging others to look on the bright side - when did that happen?! I have to mention that I read this fabulous book that my friend Christine recommended called One Thousand Gifts. If you struggle with being grateful, this book will change your life. If you're already pretty grateful, it will also change your life.

Then I also read (again, at Christine's recommendation) Cold Tangerines- a book that was instrumental in my changed perspective. It's all about celebrating and enjoying the little moments in life, the small blessings that we ignore, like an ice-cold tangerine. THAT IS A GIFT! And there's so many more things like it that we just let pass us by unnoticed.

Then I read Bittersweet. Phew. Possibly my favorite book. Shauna kept that awesome, positive perspective, but then she brings in the reality that life is just plain bitter sometimes, and there are hard things.
This is the tagline for the book:

                     “When life is sweet, say thank you and celebrate. 

                       And when life is bitter, say thank you and grow.”

By Matthew Taylor Wilson

I began to want to have that attitude toward whatever came my way. It made sense. It was logical to my mind now. So this positive outlook doesn't neglect the rough things in life- it for sure embraces them. It looks them straight in the face and looks beyond, with this great vision of life that is bigger than what's happening right this moment, and the understanding that the things that happen to us all happen for a reason.

The other night my hubby and I were relaxing at the pool, enjoying the very last bit of summertime. It had been a stressful week and the weekend was half over, so we both needed a little energizing and decided to each name 10 things  for which we were thankful. real things. Next thing you know, we are laughing, smiling, and happy. Something happens when you focus on the positive, and it's a good thing. Try it. 

The Neighborhood Coffee Shop

Famous Chocolate Croissant from Rush Patisserie

I have a new favorite place to be. The kind of space that makes you just feel happy with life. You're glad when you arrive there and feel energized when you leave. Here's why:
A local coffee company, Oak Cliff Coffee, just recently open up a coffee shop here on Davis St. They've been around for awhile, rocking the wholesale coffee world. All of us Oak Cliff Coffee fans and followers have been anxiously waiting for the opening of their first (and most probably, only) coffee shop - Davis St. Espresso.

 So here's the deal. This isn't your average coffee shop. They're doing a few things differently...

1. No Wifi or plugs for computers. I couldn't believe this when I heard it! Reason? Go to their coffee shop to talk to other humans instead of being GLUED TO A SCREEN! Guilty, anyone? *raises hand*

2. No to-go cups - only for-here mugs (you can bring your own cup, though). When I heard this on the first day, I was thinking NO WAY! How will I ever survive?? What about when I need coffee in a hurry!?
They have chosen to do this for the same reason as #1- trying to get you to slow down and enjoy the coffee with others instead of always consuming in a hurry on your way to the next thing. (I've discovered that bringing your own thermos in emergency situations is, in fact, not that difficult.)

3. Only open 6am-11am Tuesday- Friday, 7am-2pm Sat. This one I'm not sold on- I want to go there 24/7. Probably for the best that their hours aren't more abundant- saves me money.

So, at about the 1 week mark of the shop being opened, I had already been there, ahem, approximately 8 times (mainly for work, you know, gotta have those meetings!). I can't stay away. Something about the place is contagious and addicting. I love #1 and #2 now. At first, it made me all kinds of uncomfortable because it was 'different' - interesting how quickly my mind was changed. The concept that they have, though totally counter-cultural, actually works! They wanted to create a place for people to come hang out with other people and enjoy an awesome cup of coffee, and that's what it has become.

Van Buren

I haven't even talked about the coffee yet, what is wrong with me! It's so amazing, so good, so delicious! They have a steam punk coffee maker where they brew your coffee to order. And then there's the espresso. :-D Best cappuccino around, I would say, definitely gives Oddfellows a run for it's money (I just felt blasphemous... Should I take it back? Okay, no more comparisons to Oddfellows!) But if you really want to get the whole coffee experience, order the Van Buren. It's a Cortado with a glass of mineral water and a little biscotti, all served on this cute brown tray. It's ascetically pleasing and a perfect mix of espresso and milk.

When I went to Davis St. Espresso on their Grand Opening day, I saw 5-10 people I knew from the neighborhood. The owner knew me by name and said hello. Then I overheard him chatting with another fellow about how he walked to pick-up the donuts that morning. Something stirred inside me. I've loved Oak Cliff since we moved here, but now, even more so. WALKED! I know I'm sounding like a crazy person, but I feel like I have moved to the coolest-urban-small-town-thing ever. I love that every single time I've gone back to the coffee shop, I've bumped into someone else I know, and that the baristas are the same two guys every time, and they know me too. There's something so right about that.

Davis St. Espresso. Check it out.

P.S. I blame this coffee shop for my recent high-consumption of caffeine. Sorry to all those inspired by my "I'm quitting coffee" campaign a little while back. How the mighty have fallen.

For the Love of All Things Spicy

I don't know where you are on your "spicy" tolerance, but if every meal I had made my mouth burn and my nose run, I would be in heaven! I remember eating raw peppers in the kitchen as a child and while adults around me, consuming the same exact peppers, reached for relief, I was un-phased. For as long as I remember, what others found to be spicy, I found to be mild. So don't ever ask me if the salsa is spicy or not- you will probably not agree with my answer (I've been disagreed with so much on this issue, that I no longer answer the question).

I think I may have met my match.

Last weekend, Jeremy and I ventured into Hopdoddy, our absolute favorite burger place. They currently have a featured burger - the Ghostland Burgatory. We thought, hey what the heck! You only live once! Let's try it. When the cashier asked us to sign a waiver, we felt a slight hesitation, a lack of confidence, but since we already agreed to purchase it and didn't know what the other was thinking, we went ahead and got it, against our better judgment. (The minutes waiting for it to arrive were torturous, reminded me of waiting in line at Disney World for a ride I really didn't want to ride, but because of my people pleasing side, I had convinced myself to ride it... for instance: here)

So this burger not only has ghost peppers (debated as being the world's hottest pepper) on it PLUS a ghost pepper sauce, but it also is covered with jalapenos, serranos, and habeneros. Um, yeah. We will just say that it was the spiciest thing I have ever put into my mouth. ever.

The difference between my husband's approach and mine perfectly illustrates our contrasting personalities -

My planned, calculated approach was this:
I decide to take a bite of the spicy, a bite of the mild, eat a few fries, repeat. 

Jeremy's go-with-the-flow, relaxed, lack of plan was this:
Devour the whole thing without thinking, just get through it.

I literally look up and see him look at me with a very concerned face, seconds later he's up and walking off, unresponsive. I kept saying, "are you okay? are you okay?" as he walked briskly toward the bathroom. Then I awkwardly waited for him to come back, knowing it would be totally weird if I went to "check" on him in the bathroom. The way he described it was as if his body was on the brink of shock. He was fine after eating the other burger and a vanilla milkshake, which diffused most of the heat.

So we both got through the burger and lived to tell the tale. Would he recommend the burger? No way. Would I? I haven't even decided. For my amigos who love spiciness as much as I do, I've already texted them that they must try it, and that I have to be there for it. I'm guessing most people who read this will be resolved to never try it, but there will be a few who share in my obsession with spicy food and will go for it.

Go for it, my friends, go for it.

Thanks for Letting Us Borrow Your Daughter

Once a week for 2 hours, Jeremy and I watch our friends' daughter who is almost 3 years old. We spend those 2 hours speaking to her in Spanish only, which, as you can imagine, leads to some pretty funny moments. So many of these moments have been building up in my heart that I had to share.

I'm not ready to have kids one bit (okay, maybe a bit, but only a little bit). I've been telling people that the idea of staying home all the time sounds great to me, but not so much the whole taking-care-of-another-human-thing. I'm watching every mother around me and making all kinds of mental notes but just not ready to take that plunge quite yet. Enter Luci Belle. Fun. Crazy. Loving. 2 hours a week of taking care of a child- it's just what I needed.

So maybe I'm just trying to convince myself that we don't want kids yet. This is plausible because when Luci Belle repeats "Espera Un Momento" after me, I melt almost every time. A lot of the times, she doesn't repeat or really respond, but then out of nowhere, she will rattle off a sentence, or respond to our babbling with 'Yes' or 'No' so confidently that we wonder if she's become fluent overnight. Es possible, no?

Since the sweet arrival of summer, we've spent most of our lessons down at the pool. Who wouldn't, right? Let me tell you something, you haven't lived until you've swam with a toddler. I mean, you would think we just arrived at the most beautiful ocean in the world by the smiles and giggles that come out just seeing the pool! It does a great thing for the soul in those moments- such a reminder to live with awe.

The best moment every week is when it's time to leave the pool. LB is always reluctant, but as soon as she gets out, she wants to be wrapped up in her towel and held. As soon as you get her wrapped up and into your arms, she rests her head on your shoulder. every time. It's seriously like clockwork. You know when you arrive at the pool with her, at the end of that adventure, you will get that precious moment (which lasts all the way up 3 flights of stairs, back to our apartment). Her face right then says "I am at peace. I am comfortable. I feel safe." And it helps me feel all those things too. It's times like these that I wonder how I've lived without kids for this long. And don't even get me started on what it's like to see her resting her head on Jeremy's shoulder. 

For now, we're grateful and content with these 2 hours a week. And definitely using this season to prepare, to watch people around us, to soak it in, to put our marriage first and learn how to relate to each other before we add a 3rd, 4th, 5th person to this equation. Perhaps I'm writing this because each week something inside of me grows stronger. I'm trying to process this feeling, this desire for motherhood. Each week I want a little more time.